What If
by Daughter of Romanov
Summary: Based on the real Romanovs what would have happened if the children had of escaped the Romanov massacre? Begins the night after their almost death. Will Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia, and Alexei survive their scarring and live to see another day?
1. Over and Over

**A/N: Based on the real Romanovs~ what would have happened if the children had of escaped the Romanov massacre? Begins the night after**

**1. Over and Over**

(Olga POV)

We lay around the fire, looking deathly sick. Mama and Papa were dead now. We knew deep down Alexei would soon go the same way, without Rasputin to save him. My poor baby brother, doomed to die. What had life done to us? We did not deserve this. Surely, there was some mistake. God could never have meant for this to happen to us. Mama promised. She promised we would be all right. Now where is Mama? Lying cold in a cellar, with dear Papa. We are lucky to be alive, I know. I know we should thank God that Alec saved us. We should. However, I cannot. I wish I were there with them, instead of waiting to die slower. I rubbed my stomach miserably. Thank God for these corsets. They had saved us girls lives, as the medallions had kept Alexei alive long enough to be here, sleeping in my arms. Would he awake? I prayed he would. God would grant us our little brother, right? No God was that cruel. Maybe Rasputin would tell him to help us. Maybe we would live on.

"Olishka? Are you sleeping?" I heard Tatiana whisper. I turned my head to look at her.

"No, Tatya," I whispered back. She nodded slightly and sighed.

"Is Alyosha…" she could not bear to say the words. I lifted my hand to touch his chest.

"Yes, he is," I murmured and she smiled. Tatiana and I were close; we could almost read each other's minds. She was worried now, worried for me, Maria, Anastasia, and mostly Alexei.

"I am scared, Olishka," she whispered.

"As am I," I sighed.

"I keep seeing Mama and Papa…" her voice trailed off.

"I do too, Tatya. Over and over."

"Does it scare you?"

"Yes, it does. We will not die, will we?"

"I do no think so, Olishka. But I do not know anything anymore."

"Yes. I cannot believe this happened. Not to us."

"I know. How could this happen?"

"I do not know, Tatya. I just want it all to go away."

"Me too."

"I am afraid to sleep now."

"Yes, as am I."

Tatiana and I were more like twins than sisters were. I did not act as her elder unless I had to, as she did not act as my younger. We were equals, two of a kind. I never wanted to lose her. I do not think I would last. Although, I had once thought that of Mama and Papa. Yet here I was. With my sisters and brother, waiting to die. Just waiting. I heard Maria cry out in her sleep.

"Look out, Papa!" she awoke, sobbing. Tatiana rose, and crawled to beside Maria.

"Shush, Mashka. Shush!" she murmured. She wanted to tell Maria it was just a dream. However, it was not. It was a living nightmare. Maria curled into Tatiana's arms and cried into her shoulder.

"I keep seeing it, Tatya! Over and over," she sobbed. Tatiana stroked her hair.

"I know, Mashka, I know," she said, "Come; lay with Olishka and me for a while."

She helped Maria stand, and they came to lie beside Alexei and me. Anastasia looked up from her blankets, and crawled to beside Alexei, cuddling up beside him.

"I am so scared, Tatya," Maria sobbed. Anastasia reached across Alexei and me to take her sister's hand. Tatiana stroked Alexei's hair. And as we lay there, we knew we were all that was left of us, just waiting for death to claim us. And I realised, I would not leave my siblings for the release. I would have to keep holding on, fighting off our demons. For there was no one else to do that for us.


	2. Should Be Murderer

**2. Should-Be-Murderer**

(Tatiana POV)

"Girls?"

I blinked. The sun shone brightly in front of me. I felt Maria stirring on my chest. Above us was Alec, the solider who had saved us from suffering the same fate as Mama and Papa. He was tall, very tall, probably one of the tallest men I had ever met, certainly. He had dark hair, dark eyes, and tanned skin. He had not shaved for a few weeks, so his chin and neck were covered in dark bristles. He wore a soldier's uniform and hat. His bayonet was missing; the last time we had seen him it had been slung across his shoulder. Maria sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"Is it morning?" she murmured. Alec gave a short laugh.

"You've all been sleeping," he informed us, in his deep, rough voice. Maria nodded. I did not remember sleeping at all, only lying with my sisters and Alexei. Anastasia sat up, and yawned. I sat up, and looked at Olga and Alexei.

"How is he?" I whispered. She touched his chest.

"Good. Steady still. He's asleep," she replied. I smiled and brushed his hair from his face.

"He's freezing," I said. Olga nodded. Alexei sighed in his sleep. I turned to Alec. He looked confused.

"You are all so concerned for him," he stated, and knelt down beside us.

"Of course. He is our little brother. He is the Tsarevitch. We have big plans for Alyosha," Anastasia said simply.

"He is not going to be the Tsarevitch. Russia is no longer under Romanov rule, girls," Alec sounded somewhat satisfied. Of course. He had a lot to do with that. He should have been one of our killers.

"Why do you not just kill us and get it over with?" Olga demanded. Alexei stirred in his sleep.

"If I was going to kill you, would I not do that while you are sleeping? Save myself a lot of trouble. Or just kill you back there in the cellar," Alec replied. I shuddered at that, and Maria drew closer to me. Anastasia crouched down beside Alexei protectively, and Olga snarled at Alec.

"So? Why can we trust you?" she asked. Alec smirked.

"You seemed to trust me just fine when I was saving you and your siblings' lives. Why the sudden doubt?" Alec questioned.

"Now that our parents' dead bodies are not lying around us, I think we are seeing straighter. And you tried to kill us. What made you change your mind?" Olga retorted. She was always good at that sort of thing.

"I think I will keep such information to myself," he said stoutly. Alexei mumbled something in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering.

"What were you even doing, killing us like that?" Anastasia asked. I was glad Olga was talking a break from firing questions at Alec.

"That is my job," Alec replied. Olga was about to comment on that, but the look on my face silenced her.

"So, why did Mama and Papa not… make it?" Maria asked. Alec sighed.

"Your Papa was shot clear in his chest, just below his medallions. Direct hit to the heart," Alec said roughly. Maria shuddered.

"And Mama? Her corset should have saved her," I said.

"Not with a direct blow to the head, it could not. He had a good shot, well trained. As was the man assigned to your Papa," Alec said.

"Assigned? You were all assigned someone to kill?" I gasped.

"Yes. I do not know who everyone else got," Alec said.

"Who did you get?" Olga asked. There was a moment of silence.

"Alexei," he said, "Too much smoke to fully take him out. Three bullets before I thought I had. First hit your Papa's arm, but he was dead by then. The second hit Alexei directly in the medallion. Third I thought got his chest, but now I think it just clipped his shoulder," Alec seemed disappointed.

"He is bleeding," I said grimly.

"So? Growing boys bleed," Alec shrugged.

"Alexei is haemophilic, Alec!" Olga snarled.

"He must have hurt himself before," Alec said evenly.

"How is Rasputin going to save him now? Your people killed him!" Maria demanded.

"Rasputin? You believed he saved your little brother?" Alec scoffed. I glowered at him. Olga was right, he was annoying.

"Of course he did," Maria said softly.

"You girls all act as one, you know that?" Alec said calmly. I sighed.

"So you were meant to kill Alyosha?" I asked softly. He nodded. Alexei yawned and opened his eyes.

"What? Why did you say my name, Tatya?" he asked softly.

"How are you feeling, Alyosha?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Better. Stronger," he added. I nodded. He and Olga sat up. Anastasia crawled to sit beside Maria. We were all silent, soaking in each other's presence until Alec cleared his throat. Somehow, I knew Alec would not be comfortable with our ways.

"Hurry up," he said, standing.

"Why? We do not have anywhere to be. We are meant to be dead," Alexei said firmly. He was the most comfortable with death out of all of us, after facing Death many times in his short life. He was not even fourteen yet.

"Right. If you plan to stay living, let us keep moving. Now," he said. I half-expected him to help us up, as a true gentleman would, but he turned sharply, and walked off. I sighed, and we stood, Olga and Maria helping Alexei up.

"How is your shoulder, Alyosha?" Olga asked.

"Bearable," he replied and she laughed. Alec returned, with his bayonet slung across his chest on the leather strap. We froze, terrified. Did he intend to kill us after all? He looked at us and snorted.

"Please, it is just a gun," he said shortly, and indicated for us to follow him into the woods. We remained rooted to our spot. Olga suddenly bent down, untying her shoelaces nimbly.

"What are you doing, Olishka?" Maria asked. She kicked off her boot quickly and pulled out a small, golden pistol. I gasped.

"I thought they made you give that up!" I whispered. Alec smiled. Olga handed the gun to Alexei as she retied her boot up.

"Give me the gun, Alexei," Alec said firmly.

"If you are allowed to be armed, so are we," said Anastasia, smirking. Alec sighed and shrugged.

"Suit yourselves," he said, as Anastasia help Olga stand, and she took her pistol back from Alexei. The pistol Papa had given her. Before he, Mama, and Maria had left. The pistol I had believed to be taken.

"So, where are we going?" I asked.

"Into the woods. Do you never listen to me?" he sounded annoyed.

"No. Why should we?" Olga snapped. He sighed, and motioned for us to follow him again.

"Look, it is your lives," he said.

"We know. We want to keep them," Anastasia tossed her hair over her shoulder. Alec gave a single laugh.

"Well then, stay here and wait for my people to find you," he said evenly.

"Our soldiers will come and fight for us," I said.

"Is that the thinking that got you here in the first place?" Alec retorted.

"Papa said they would. Papa said they were closer than we thought," Maria said, bold for her. Alec must really be getting on everyone's nerves.

"Look, you will just have to trust me. I know the people who are trying to kill you. They are my friends and family," Alec said.

"What will happen to you?" Maria asked.

"I do no think they know I have betrayed them. When they find out though, I am as dead as you are," Alec said.

"Where are we going to go?" Anastasia asked.

"We have to leave Russia," Alec said. We gasped.

"Leave Russia?" Alexei said in horror, "We could never leave Russia!"

"You will have to, I am afraid," Alec said simply.

"Russia is our home," Olga exclaimed.

"I said you have to. All right? Let's all just try and get along for a little while," Alec growled. I looked at Olga fearfully. Surely not. Surely, he could not make us leave our precious home. Nevertheless, someone deep inside of me I knew Alec was not someone we dare argue against. He should have killed us. He still could. Looking at Olga over Alexei's head, I knew she was thinking the same thing. For the time being, we would just have to bear it.


	3. Obedience and Honour

**3. Obedience and Honour**

(Maria POV)

Alec was ignoring us. Either that or he had forgotten us, which would have been hard seeing as how we were all just sitting right behind him.

"Mashka, pay attention," Tatiana hissed. I turned from the solider back to my siblings. They all looked at anxious as I felt.

"I say we abandon him," Anastasia muttered. We all turned to her in horror.

"What?" Alexei gasped.

"Come on, Alyosha, you know you were thinking it! We _cannot_ trust him," Anastasia insisted. We all were silent for a moment. Anastasia nodded confidently.

"See? You agree," she crossed her arms.

"No one agreed, Nastya," Tatiana said quickly.

"No one _dis_agreed though. You know we cannot trust Alec. We do not know whose side he is on! We do not even know why he did not just kill us. You _heard_ how disappointed he was he did not kill Alyosha! How admiring he was of the others who killed Mama and Papa!" Anastasia frowned.

"Nastya, we cannot just to conclusions! We _have_ to think it through," Tatiana explained wearily.

"Right. It is too risky," I sighed.

"I agree with Nastya," Olga said simply. Surprised at Olga's agreement, Anastasia blinked at her in amazement.

"You do? Honest?" Anastasia exclaimed.

"Shush, not so loud you silly child! We do not want Alec to hear," Olga hissed.

"Sorry," Anastasia winced. We all looked quickly over our shoulders at Alec. He was looking at us curiously.

"What do you talk of?" Alec asked, standing. I shivered as he looked at us with his haunted dark eyes.

"It is nothing. Really," Tatiana shook her head quickly, hair flying across her face.

"Of course it was not. I think I get the gist of it anyway. It would not be wise what you girls are thinking. And the boy too, if he is even listening let alone agreeing with whatever harebrained scheme you palace princesses have come up with. Perhaps you should just do as you are told and we can all just get along for a little while, alright?" Alec said. Though his voice was loud and clear, it had the undertone of a threatening growl. I looked at my sisters helplessly. What could we do? We could not trick him, he was a trained solider! Had most of the rebellions soldiers been trained in our armies first anyway? There was no way Olga and Tatiana's experience could help us. Besides, he was so much more physically strong than we were too, especially poor Alexei!

"Why do you want us to come with you?" Olga asked.

"I would have wasted my time saving you if I was just going to let you sit out here and die. It is not all about you girls. I gave up a lot to save you. It would have saved me a lot of time and effort to just let you die," Alec snapped.

"Then why did you?" Anastasia demanded.

"I think I will keep such information to myself," he said stoutly.

"You said that already!" Alexei sighed.

"My opinion is yet to change. Hurry up. I do not want to die for you, but if I must it will not be because you would not move quickly enough," Alec stood and looked at us expectantly.

"Where are we going?" I asked tiredly.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself? We are leaving Russia," Alec sighed.  
"But we cannot leave Russia! It is our home," I explained.

"Russia does not want you. Russia has tried to kill you. Russia is not your home," Alec said firmly.

"We cannot leave Russia in a day! It is far too large," Alexei said proudly. He loved Russia more than anything.

"No, today we will travel to Chelyabinsk. It is not safe to remain here. Too many people here have seen you as the Grand Duchesses who are meant to be dead. Besides, you are not dressed for the weather," Alec smirked. I was suddenly self-conscious of my flimsy dress, and shivered involuntarily.

"And the people in Chelyabinsk will never figure us out?" Olga asked sarcastically.

"We will only stay in Chelyabinsk for as little time as possible. It is still of the most importance to get our out of the country where my people cannot get you," Alec replied. We exchanged a worried look amongst ourselves. We were not keen to leave Russia. It was all we had ever known as home, though lately it had been less than kind.

"How will we get to Chelyabinsk?" Anastasia demanded, "We have no transport!"

"It is called walking. You have legs and feet, do you not? Learn to use them," Alec said sharply, and turned on his heels brusquely and started walking off.

"Wait! Please Mr… Mr…" my voice trailed off as I realised we only knew what he had told us of him.

"Fawnapov," Alec provided.

"Mr. Fawnapov, please wait up," I finished.

"Hurry up," he said shortly. Tatiana took my arm and Anastasia's, before hurrying over to Alec with Olga and Alexei behind us.

"Let us go. We had better move out of here before daylight," Alec warned. We did not need to be told why. The Bolshevik men would kill us if they had a chance to and that would mean Alec's life too. Alec, our strange saviour, who at one moment was kind a gentle, the next moment brusque. What a strange world we had been trust into when our old world was lost. We walked for hours in silence, struggling to keep up with Alec's quick pace and long strides. Alexei and I struggled the most, with his old limp and my new limp from the shooting, and all of us bore our own injuries from the godforsaken day in that basement.

"Please, slow down!" Tatiana pleaded. Alec stopped sharply, and I crashing into the back on him, falling hard onto my hip with a cry. No sooner had I cried out in surprise, Alec grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly to my feet.

"Be careful, Maria," he warned.

"How do you know my name?" I asked in disbelief.

"I worked for the Bolshevik in Yekaterinburg guarding your family for a while before the execution," Alec replied. I nodded and stepped back from him again, slipping. He caught me again, a little smile on his face this time, and set me back onto my feet.

"I said it once and I will say it again. Be careful, Maria," Alec smirked, reminding me of one of the guards who shot us. Had that been Alec? Surely, Alec had not been that cruel man, sneering at Mama and taking poor Anna's jewels. No, he did not have the same face as that man did, just the expression.

"I do try, honest," I shrugged away from him.

"Try harder, child," Alec shrugged.

"I am not a child," I frowned at him. He looked at me intently, as if he could see my thoughts through my eyes. Then he dropped my arm and turned to Tatiana.

"Why are we slowing down?" he asked.

"We cannot keep up with you, Alec. We are injured from the shooting and poor Mashka and Alyosha cannot keep up doubly for their limps. Please slow down, or you will leave us behind," Tatiana pleaded.

"Of course," Alec sighed impatiently, "You girls help Maria, I will carry Alexei again."

"Thank you, Alec. That is very… chivalrous of you," Olga nodded as Alexei walked carefully over to Alec. Alec simply picked him up like a ragdoll, and we started on again. For how much longer? Every day we grew a little weaker and our injuries were a little harder to bear. We had better arrive in Chelyabinsk soon, or our lives would be over and all this would be for nothing. Nothing at all.


	4. When Jealousy is a Virtue

**4. When Jealousy is a Virtue**

(Anastasia POV)

We stopped to rest at an old oak tree. It was a long journey, and only Alec was well enough to make it properly. My body ached from head to toe, and my stomach still twinged from where the bullet had hit my corset. At least it was a shallow injury, not like Maria's thigh. She had actually taken a bullet! Strong courageous Maria. Though her limp was really starting to annoy her, and she hated being the one we stopped for. Still. Maria was so brave to be here!

"I still do not understand how you took a bullet to the _back_ of your leg," Olga persisted. Maria was refusing to talk about what had happened to her in the basement. Who could blame her? It was such a horrible thing for me and I passed out halfway through! Olga and Tatiana had been caught in the middle of the smoke. I was at the back wall, but all I had seen of Maria was her with Dr. Botkin. Dear Dr. Botkin. Where was he now? I remembered him when we were leaving, but what had happened? How I wish Maria would talk! I wondered what Alexei thought of it all. But he was not here at the moment.

"Are you sure you don't want me to look at it, Mashka?" Tatiana persisted.

"No, Tatya. It is just stinging a little bit, is all," Maria replied. Tatiana sighed and leant back against the oak.

"Where is Alyosha?" Olga asked, as if reading my mind.

"He is too busy with his new best friend, ex-Bolshevik murderer-to-be Alec," I replied sharply. The others looked at me in surprise.

"Jealous, are we, Madame Nastya?" Olga laughed.

"Me? Of that vile little fink? No! That double-crossing, heartless, traitorous, malicious-" I growled.

"Would-be-dead-in-a-basement-if-it-was-not-for-him vile little fink?" Olga cut me off. I sighed and turned to Maria.

"How is you leg?" I asked gently.

"Well, most of it is numb with the cold, but there is part of it which is burning with the stinging from being shot," Maria winced.

"Poor darling," Tatiana stroked Maria's hair and smiled.

"I do not mind it so much. I just wish Dr. Botkin was here to fix it, for much more of this and I will surely go mad!" Maria laughed.

"Well, we should be arriving in Chelyabinsk soon. Then we can try our luck travelling wherever Alec takes us next," Tatiana sighed.

"Do you suppose he really wants us to live?" I asked.

"Why else would he be putting himself through all this?" Maria replied.

"It just seems a little odd…" I shrugged in what I hoped was a casual way.

"He seems like a nice enough man," Maria shrugged.

"That is because you have your beautiful blue eyes, your Marie's Saucers, and Nastya is a green-eyed imp," Olga smirked at me.

"I am not jealous!" I exclaimed.

"Who is Anastasia jealous of?" Alec asked as he and Alexei walked in through the clearing.

"I am _not_ jealous! You believe me, do you not, Mashka?" I demanded.

"No! You believe that she is jealous, do you not, Mashka?" Olga countered. Maria looked at the two of us fearfully.

"I believe that what you believe is the right thing for you to believe?" Maria looked at Tatiana helplessly. Tatiana shrugged.

"Silly Mashka. That was not a real answer," Olga sighed.

"Please do not fight," Maria replied.

"Hello?" Alec said impatiently. We turned to him resignedly.

"Can we keep travelling? We are getting close to Chelyabinsk," Alec said, taking Maria's hand and pulling her to her feet. The rest of us stood wearily. This was getting to be too much. Tatiana and I helped Maria walk carefully behind Alec, as Alexei limped along on his own. Alexei seemed to have befriended our strange saviour very well. They were talking and laughing together, and seemed to be getting on so well. Considering it had been Alec's job to _kill_ Alexei personally, he seemed to like him well enough.

"I am _so_ hungry," Maria whimpered.

"We all are," Tatiana replied, "perhaps in Chelyabinsk we will eat."

"I hope so," Maria sighed. We walked on in silence; trudging wearily through the makeshift path Alec was so intent on following. Where in Chelyabinsk would he take us? Surely, everyone he knew was as evil as he was. Evil cruel-hearted killers like his friends who had killed Mama and Papa. He had even shot Papa! Poor Papa, cold and alone in that horrid basement. Whatever had become of him now? And sweet Mama, so strong for us all. All gone. All gone because of politics.


	5. One of the Men

**5. One of the Men**

(Alexei POV)

We were only a few miles from Chelyabinsk, and Alec decided to let us rest. It was well into the night, and we were all numb with the cold, especially my sisters with their thin dresses and coats. The jewels Mama and Anna had sewn into my clothing, in case of emergency or escape, was freezing and embedding itself into my skin. It made a bitter distraction from the throbbing in my leg, the throbbing of whenever I walked because of my haemophilia accident a few years ago in Spala. Spala, Poland, where our hunting lodge had been. Would we ever return? Would we ever return to any of our old homes? The future seemed more bleak than usual. And normally it was somewhat bleak anyway. I looked over at Alec, our brave saviour who we knew so little about. He was cutting up branches in a clearing a little while away from us to make a fire. Even he was feeling the arctic iciness of the night. Every breath we let our left a little puff of smoke in front of our mouths, as if we had invisible cigars. If you looked high enough into the tall trees, you could see snow and the pitch-black darkness of the winter sky. My four elder sisters were all huddled up together, as I sat next to Tatiana, as she murmured loving words to the others.

"Alexei, come help me carry these over," Alec called. I jumped up and ran over. There was a huge pile of branches and sticks that Alec had collected at his feet, and he smiled at me warmly.

"Are you sisters alright?" he asked quietly as I he handed me a bundle of the sticks and branches.

"They are cold, frightened, injured, but otherwise fine," I smiled bitterly and Alec nodded.

"We will be safe soon," he assured me as he picked up a pile of the bigger branches.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"I will make sure of it. The further we are from my comrades, the better. They will stop at nothing to end the White Army's fight," Alec informed me as we walked back over to my shivering sisters.

"I see," I said knowledgably as we piled the sticks up in front of the girls, before heading back to the clearing to get more, "but how will we hid in Chelyabinsk? In the woods we are concealed well from the Bolshevik, but in a city?"

"We will not be in public," Alec replied.

"Where will we be?" I asked curiously.

"My elder sister, Luda, lives in Chelyabinsk. Her house is right in front of the woods. We can stay with her for a little while before leaving Russia," Alec said firmly.

"Will she let us?" I asked nervously.

"Yes. She owes me her life several times over, so she can afford to save mine once," Alec smiled forlornly and I nodded. It was hard to think of us all dying, like Mama and Papa had. Poor family, poor friends.

"Must we leave Russia?" I asked. Russia was everything to me. I had dedicated my life to trying to make myself the best Tsar, apart from Papa of course, that Russia would ever have. The revolution had taken that from me. I could have made my Russia a wonderful place! But even after all of the cruelty Russia had let happen, all of the malicious things my people had done, I still loved Russia. It was more than just my home. It was my life.

"Yes. Once we leave Russia, we are free men," Alec smiled. I smiled back at him, my heart heavy. What could have possibly gone wrong to have us forced to leave Russia?

"What about your sister's family?" I asked as we started assembling the fire. My sisters were all deep in conversation a little while away from us.

"She is a widow, and her children have since left home or died," Alec shook his head sadly, "it is a big house, with enough room to house us. Well, for a little while at least."

"Is your sister…" my voice trailed off, unable to find the right words, "opposed to the White Army?"

"Yes. All of my family is, Alexei," Alec said shortly, "my brother-in-law, Peter Ermakov, was to shoot Maria."

"Was that Luda's husband?" I dared to ask.

"No. Luda's husband died when the revolution first broke out," Alec sighed.

"Oh," I sat back from the branches and sticks as Alex started to light them.

"Peter was drunk on the morning of the murder. You can thank the vodka for Maria's life," Alec watched my face carefully. I nodded slowly.

"So corsets saved Olga and Tatiana, but vodka saved Maria," I mused. Alec laughed.

"And you were saved by gun smoke," Alec informed me, "and my bad attitude to murder."

"Lucky me," I rolled my eyes, "saved by a last-minute conscience."

"Better last-minute then not-at-all," Alec shrugged.

"Thank you for saving us," I said softly.

"I am not a cruel man, Alexei Romanov. I know what could have happened. I do not want that for another human being, no matter what stance you take on politics," Alec said firmly.

"If you knew they were going to kill us, why did you go along with it?" I asked, "You could have just left Yekaterinburg and someone else could have shot us instead."

"I did not decide to save you until about halfway through the execution," Alec replied.

"But why?" I persisted.

"I had a change of heart," Alec shrugged, "I could not let you all die."

"You are a mystifying man," I said exasperatedly.

"You are a curious man," Alec shrugged.

"Only when I cannot get answers," I smiled.

"Stay curious," Alex laughed and then called over to my sisters, "Girls! The fire is ready!"

My sisters crawled over, too tired and sore to walk another step, and settled near the fire. I crawled to Olga's side, and she stroked my hair lovingly. Alec sat contently opposite us, staring into the fire. What a curious man our saviour was. A curious man with too many secrets.


	6. The House at the Edge of the Woods

**The House at the Edge of the Woods**

(Olga POV)

"Wake up!"

I hated that I was getting used to Alec's voice. I opened my eyes sleepily. Alec was standing over us, looking impatient. His bayonet was already slung across his shoulder and his arms were folded.

"What is it, Alec?" I mumbled tiredly. I felt as though I could never get enough sleep to feel awake again. It was like part of me was already dead.

"We need to get moving. Chelyabinsk is only a few miles away," Alec reminded us.

"We know. You do not need to tell us again," I retorted, sitting up. My brother and sisters all looked as dishevelled and tired as I felt.

"I need to tell you everything else over and over," Alec replied shortly. I sighed and we all stood up.

"Fine, fine," Tatiana consented wearily.

"We had better be moving. Shall we take the same arrangements as yesterday?" Alec asked, running his fingers through his dark hair.

"I am well rested, Alec, I can walk for myself," Alexei pipped up. I shot a sidelong glance at Tatiana. When did Alexei become so friendly with his should-be-murderer?

"Good," Alec smiled almost warmly at Alexei, "I will carry Maria then. Can you girls keep up for once?"

"Yes," Anastasia snapped in an injured tone. Alec simply nodded and picked up Maria lightly. She winced as he touched her leg. He quickly moved his hand.

"Are you alright, Mashka?" I asked quickly.

"Yes, fine," Maria replied just as fast.

"Then let us move on," Alec said impatiently. I glanced at Tatiana once again and knew we were thinking the same thing. Alec really was a most despicable man. We continued on to Chelyabinsk in silence. With Alec carrying Maria, there was no chance for private conversation. Alexei did his best to conceal his limp, but in the end Tatiana and I both helped him to keep up with Alec's long strides.

"Slow down, Alec," I finally snapped.

"We have arrived," Alec announced in a dull tone. I looked around. We were still surrounded by forest.

"We have?" I asked, feeling more and more uneasy. He nodded.

"Walk quickly now," he warned, "If anyone sees you… well, if anyone sees you this was all a waste of my life, certainly."

He continued forward through some trees. I followed him, praying that things would finally be okay, things would go our way for once…

We stepped into a clearing, a yard of some sort. Alec had already crossed halfway across it, Maria still in his arms. Alexei, Anastasia, Tatiana, and I followed him over to the house as fast as our tired, injured bodies would take us.

"Good… good… so far so good… Alec mused to himself and glanced around the yard quickly, "No one saw us I think… no, I do not think so."

Alec set Maria on her feet quickly and knocked on the back door of the house. It was a big old farmhouse, with chipping white paint. There was movement inside, before a voice barked out at us sternly.

"Who is it?"

"Me, Luda. Your brother, Alec," Alec said quickly, "open the door quickly and do not make a sound."

The door opened and a woman emerged.

"What? But why-" she stopped dead when she saw us, her jaw dropping.

"Do not make a sound," Alec warned her. The woman just stared at us in horror. Alec pushed her aside and ushered us in.

"I will be right back. Stay here," he warned. With that, he disappeared back outside to his sister. I looked at my own sisters, reflecting on the look of horror Alec's sister had given us. Was that to be our life now? To be viewed with disgust and repulsion every time anyone saw us? If Mama and Papa saw the way she looked at us… I could not let myself think of them. I could not stay strong for my family if I thought about them, thought about all that had happened in that cellar… Tatiana touched my arm lightly.

"Let us just pray Alec's sister will let us stay," Tatiana said softly. I nodded. That was all we really had left to hope for now.


	7. I Cannot Bear To Grieve

**I Cannot Bear To Grieve**

(Tatiana POV)

Somehow, Alec managed to convince Luda to let us stay, though I have no idea how. They fought for a while outside, but all we could hear were angry voices. I wonder what would happen if Luda did not let us stay. Did Alec have another plan, or would that be the end for us? It hardly seemed fair to come all this way only to die. Finally, the pair came inside. Alec looked pleased and Luda looked annoyed.

"Fine! Fine! But on your head be it, Alec," Luda snapped. She shot us a dirty look before storming off out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

"That went better than expected," Alec said in a tone of satisfaction. We turned to him with disbelief.

"Went well?" Alexei repeated with dismay, "You said she would let us stay here."

I raised my eyebrow at Olga. We had never heard anything of his sister yet. Why did Alexei know?

"Well, she is going to, isn't she?" Alec shrugged as if this was exactly his plan. We still had no idea what his plan was, or even if he had one. For some reason, the thought of him not having a plan worried me more than him actually having a plan. Although, it seemed like he had trouble sticking with plans anyway, seeing as how we were alive. Luda returned to the room, carrying some blankets and cussing under her breath.

"Come on, then," she snapped at us, "Lord knows if you get found here… Heavens, you ought to be shot, truly!"

We silently followed her upstairs. No one mentioned that we had already been shot at. She led us into a small living room and dropped the blankets.

"The bedrooms are there," she pointed at several doors, "Don't you dare move anything around… scum of Russian blood…"

And with that, she turned on her heels and stormed downstairs. Alec shrugged and offered us an apologetic look. I sighed and turned away from him in annoyance, picking up the blankets. Olga took some of them from me and I looked at her helplessly. But she was just as scared and confused as I was.

"You ought to rest…" Alec commented, "I'll see you tomorrow morning, early. We need to leave Russia as soon as possible."

He left us then, closing the door to the little sitting room behind him. We all stood together in silence, before I finally spoke.

"We should get some sleep while we can," I said, and glanced towards the doors that led to the bedrooms. We had been sleeping all in the same room for the past couple of months. Before that, we had been in different rooms. Who would sleep in which room now? We ended up Olga, Alexei, and I in one room and Maria and Anastasia in the other. Alexei quickly fell asleep but Olga and I remained awake in comfortable silence.

"Are you thinking of them, Tatya?" Olga whispered after a while. I did not have to think to know who 'Them' was referring to. I blocked 'them' from my mind, refused to think of the names and faces. It was easier to deal with the vague and enigmatic 'them' than real people who I had loved with all my heart.

"I cannot bear to think of them, Olishka," I murmured, "I cannot bear to remember what happened."

"No, at least, not yet, Tatya," Olga replied gently, "they say time heals all wounds."

"So how long will it take to heal Russia and repair this mess?" I retorted sharply. Olga didn't reply, and the silence wasn't comfortable like it usually was between us. I was in no mood to apologize for being so brash, I was far too tired, sore, and emotionally drained to care about hurting my best friend in the entire world. I knew Olga was waiting for some kind of explanation, but I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. When I did finally fall asleep, I slept a beautifully dreamless sleep until I was awoken by Maria's screams.


	8. The Inescapable Memory

**The Inescapable Memory**

(Maria POV)

_We stood together in the basement, all of us in a small group. The small room was oddly devoid of any furniture, only two chairs that Mama and Papa sat on. Alexei sat on Papa's lap. He hadn't been able to walk for the last two weeks, after hurting his leg when he tried to sled down the stairs. He claimed that it was getting better, but Dr Botkin, Mama, and Papa worried so much for him that he still sat on Papa's lap, even though he was thirteen. It was hard to believe that Baby was only a few weeks short of his fourteenth birthday. Trupp and Kharitonov stood together, to the right of Papa. Anna stood behind them, clutching two pillowcases of jewels. Olga and Tatiana stood together, holding hands tightly, and looking worriedly around the room, talking in low voices. Anastasia and I stood on either side of Dr Botkin behind Mama. Alexei's puppy, Joy, sat at his feet loyally, while Anastasia held her King Charles spaniel Jimmy. Yurovsky and a handful of men entered, with rifles and pistols. I couldn't imagine why they needed to carry them- we were only being transferred to another house because of the army coming for us. _

"_Nikolai Aleksandrovich, in view of the fact that your relatives are continuing their attack on Soviet Russia, the Ural Executive Committee has decided to execute you," Yurovsky read aloud from the paper in his hands, with a proud smirk on his face. _

"_What?" Papa demanded. _

"_In view of the fact that your relatives are continuing their attack on Soviet Russia, the Ural Executive Committee has decided to execute you. Your life is ended," Yurovsky repeated quickly before turning to his men, "Ready?" _

"_What?" Papa repeated, "What?" _

_The men raised their rifles and pistols, and began to fire. Mama and my older sisters shrieked. I let out a cry, and turned to the door behind us. Slamming my fists against the door, I cried out again, not sure of what to say, just hoping someone would hear us. Dr Botkin was by my side in an instant, beating his fists against the door. _

"_Help! Help!" he hollered at the top of his lungs. _

"_Help! Please! Help!" I cried, tears stinging my eyes. I slammed my body against the door, shaking the door handle frantically, as bullets continued to fire, ricocheting of the walls and falling around like rain. Suddenly, a searing pain struck me in the back of my leg and I looked over my shoulder. A man stumbled drunkenly towards us, just shooting randomly around the room. I slumped down, clutching the back of my leg. Dr Botkin crouched down behind me, clutching his abdomen. We lay down on the ground below the door, he gripped my hand as I bit my lip and tried not to cry, tried to stay brave. I looked around the room at my family underneath the smoke. Mama, Papa, and Alexei were all slouched in their chairs, blood dripping down Mama's temple. Behind them, Tatiana and Olga were hugging each other, trying vainly to try and protect each other from the fatal shot. Kharitonov and Trupp were bloody messes to the right of Papa and Alexei, their faces and chests red and unrecognisable from each other. Anna was curled up in the middle of the floor, hugging the pillows to her chest. And Anastasia, my darling little sister, was crouched up against the back wall on her on, tearstained face and bloody chest, little Jimmy a bloody mess of fur and broken limbs beside her. Finally, the firing stopped and the silence came as the smoke cleared. _

"_Thank God! God has saved me!" Anna cried delightedly. The men turned to her, gripping their bayonets and raising eyebrows at each other. They lunged at her, stabbing and shouting in their Hungarian accents. Her head slammed against the wall as she beat them with their pillowcases of jewels. She fell and her pillowcases fell open, spilling out jewels across the floor. The men cried out delighted, and grabbed at the gems, shoving them in their pockets greedily. One of the men went across to Alexei and Papa, grabbing their medals with a laugh. Joy jumped up at them, whimpering as she tried to defend little Alexei one last time. _

"_What the hell do you think you're doing? Up to my office!" Yurovsky demanded, "Hand over all the jewels you've taken, or so help me, you Latvian scum!" _

_Muttering and grumbling to each other, the half a dozen men left, one of them carrying the wriggling Joy, leaving us behind. The door behind me opened, and a dark-haired man walked over me, entering the room. _

"_Oh, God, they did it! Oh, God!" the man whispered. He was knelling beside Olga and Tatiana in an instant. _

"_Wake up! Don't be gone!" he pleaded, "don't be gone!" _

"_What?" Tatiana's hushed voice came, "who are you?"_

"_Oh God, you're alive! You're both alive! Praise the Lord!" the man exclaimed, "Get up, get up! We have to go before they come back!" _

_He helped Olga and Tatiana to their feet unsteadily, and he tried to lead them over to the door. _

"_But everyone!" Tatiana turned and she and Olga both turned to Mama and Papa. _

"_Oh Mama! Oh Papa!" Tatiana cried. The man shushed them quickly. _

"_Tatya...?" Alexei mumbled. Tatiana helped him up as Olga went to Anna, Trupp, and Kharitonov. _

"_Anna, come on," Olga helped her up. _

"_No… the others!" Anna protested. _

"_It's too late, Anna," Olga replied. Dr Botkin leant up on his elbows, and shook me lightly. I sat up, and looked across the room. The man had helped Anastasia to her feet and Olga, Tatiana, Anna, and Alexei were all coming over to the door. We all stood up and followed the man through the door and up the stairs into the house. Olga and Tatiana both supported Alexei, the dark-haired stranger carried Anna, and Dr Botkin supported me and Anastasia. My mind was still in the basement with Mama and Papa. We were led to a red-haired man at the end of a corridor, who was standing next to an open window. _

"_It's all done," the red-haired man said, "Where are the others?" _

"_Dead. The Tsar, Tsarina, and two of the servants," the dark-haired man replied. The red-haired man helped the dark-haired man climb out of the window and they paused for a moment. _

"_Are you sure, Alec?" the man asked, gripping Alec's arm. _

"_Sure," Alec nodded, "Good luck, Nicolai."_

"_Good luck to you, Alec," Nicolai replied, "You'll need it more." _

_Alec dropped down to the ground below out of sight. Nicolai turned to me. _

"_Come on, you next," he grabbed me, and before I had a chance to protest, he had lifted me out of the window and helped me down to Alec. Anna was crouched against the back wall and Alec simply put me down on the ground and helped Anastasia down. A few minutes passed, but the remains of us were all down on the ground. _

"_Goodbye, comrade. God be with you," Nicolai called, and closed the window behind me. _

"_Come on," Alec urged us. Alec picked up Alexei and Dr Botkin picked up Anna. We four sisters supported each other, with me in the middle, needing the most help with my leg. Alec led us out of the house, across the street, and into the woods behind us. We all hurried deeper and deeper into the woods, not thinking, just getting as far away from the house as we could. _

"_Hey! Hey!" Dr Botkin finally called, panting heavily. Alec stopped and turned around. _

"_We can't stop! They'll kill us all if they catch us!" Alec exclaimed. _

"_Anna's not going to make it if we keep going. I need to patch her up now," Dr Botkin protested. Alex paused, eyes darting around frantically. _

"_You two stop… but you can't stay here, they'll come looking," Alec argued. _

"_Just go! We'll catch up later!" Dr Botkin insisted, lying Anna down on the ground. She whimpered pitifully. We all crouched down around her, panting to catch our breath and think. _

"_Chelyabinsk. White farmhouse at the edge of the woods. Red back door. Can't miss it," Alec said quickly, glancing up nervously at the path we had come down. We all stood up, leaning on each other for support. _

"_Yes, yes, just go!" Dr Botkin urged him. Alec stood up. _

"_Come on, Romanovs!" Alec turned to us, a look of hurried urgency in his eyes. _

"_I can't! I can't!" Olga gasped, shaking her head. Alec gripped her arms, and shook his head quickly. _

"_You must! You mustn't die here!" Alec shook her frantically. Olga nodded, terrified. Alec let go of her and she fell into Tatiana's arms. The Big Pair exchanged a look, and hugged each other tightly. We left Dr Botkin examining Anna behind us as we hurried on after Alec and Alexei. The world shifted and swirled, back to the basement with Mama, Papa, Trupp, and Kharitonov's bodies at the mercy of the Red Army. _

"_Mama! Papa! Please wake up!" I pleaded, "Mama! Papa! Don't leave us!" _

"Maria! Mashka, wake up!"

"Mama! Papa!" I screamed, as Anastasia's frightened face appeared, shaking me.

"What's going on?" Olga called, as I looked up to see Olga and Tatiana rushing into the room and sitting down on the bed next to me, with Alexei stumbling in behind them.

"Shush, Mashka, darling," Tatiana soothed me, pushing Anastasia away and sinking down on the bed next me and hugging me tightly, "Shush, darling, it's just a dream…"

"It's not a dream!" I sobbed into her arms, "Oh my darling Papa… oh Mama… they're all gone!"

"I know… we all know," Tatiana kissed my hair and rubbed my back. Anastasia, Olga, and Alexei all sat down on the bed around me, and we all huddled together on the bed, looking at each other with sorrowful eyes.


	9. Running From Misfortune

**Running From Misfortune**

(Anastasia POV)

I had never heard any family fight like Alec and Luda did. Sure, my sisters and I had fought while we were growing up (a certain little Grand Duchess nicknamed "Fat Little Bow Wow" comes to mind…), it was never anything like this.

"I hope you enjoy burning in hell, you no good-"

"At least when I'm dead I won't have to deal with you!"

Sometimes when they fought, they used words I had never even heard of, but the context and their tone of voice made me sure that they were using words I didn't want to get better acquainted with. I hugged my knees to my chest and tried to concentrate on sewing a button back onto my blouse. Olga and I were sitting at the end of Alexei's bed, while Tatiana and Maria were in the bathroom. Tatiana and Maria had been whispering together earlier this morning, and had disappeared off together. It struck me as odd, given that they had never gotten on together before, but seeing as how the rest of the world had fallen apart I took little notice of it. Olga was massaging Alexei's injured leg, while he laid back, eyes closed and whimpering. One of the buttons on my overcoat had all but fallen of my coat, almost leaving the jewel underneath exposed. Olga, Tatiana, and my blue cheviot coats had the buttons replaced on them with diamonds wrapped in wadding and black silk. Olga, Tatiana and I were also all wearing brassieres with diamonds, emeralds and amethysts sew in between the linings, which were awkward and uncomfortable. Maria did not have any jewels sew into her clothes, because we sewed them into our clothes after she left Tobolsk, but all four of us girls wore pearls under our blouses. Before, I had been jealous of her, because the jewels were so heavy and annoying. But it had been those jewels that saved my life, when the awful Hungarian man had loomed over me and shot at me. I still shuddered at the memory of his frightening dark eyes. Sure, I was bruised from the jewels hitting me, but it was better than dead. Idly, I wondered what was going to happen to the clothes we left behind. We had sewn jewellery into most of our clothes and hats. Mama… no. I wasn't going to think about Mama, not today. Not ever again. It would be so much easier to pretend like nothing had happened, to force myself to believe that Mama and Papa had just moved on to a different location and we had been not allowed to come, like Pierre Gilliard wasn't allowed to come to Ipatiev House. I was just about ready to give up on attaching this blasted button back onto my coat. With an angry sigh, I looked pleadingly to my sister, "Olga…"

"No, do it yourself," Olga replied irritably.

"But Olishka, you are so much better than me at this sort of thing…" I tried.

"I know," she agreed, but didn't even look up from Alexei. I pouted and folded my arms. I was about to speak again, but the door burst open.

"Mashka? Oh. It's you," I rolled my eyes as Alec entered the room. He pulled a face at me, and sat down on the floor next to Alexei.

"Where are the others?" he asked.

"In the bathroom," Olga replied, pausing from Alexei to look up at Alec, "is everything okay with Luda?"

"Sure," Alec shrugged off her question, "when will the others come out?"

"I'll go get them," I jumped up, eager to get out of my sewing. Before Olga or Alec could respond, I darted from the room and hurried over to the bathroom. I was about to throw open the door and burst into the room, but a strange noise stopped me in my tracks. A strangled sort of sob, the kind of noise that Maria made after a long cry.

"Come now; dry your eyes, Marie, dear," Tatiana murmured, in the sweet tender voice reserved for a crisis.

"But I am so scared, Tatya," Maria whimpered, "You must promise me… promise me...!"

Tatiana hesitated, "…yes, I promise."

"Good," Maria mumbled. I took a deep breath, wondering what was going on. I rapped loud on the door, biting my lower lip worriedly.

"Yes? Who's there?" Tatiana's high worried voice called out.

"Me, Anastasia. When are you coming out? Alec is waiting for us with Alexei and Olga," I replied, hoping my voice hadn't wavered too much.

"We'll be there in a minute," Tatiana answered. Frightened of what had been going on inside the bathroom, I scurried back to my eldest sister as fast as I could. A nagging voice in the back of my head told me that I could not keep running from the misfortune following us like a plague hanging over our heads, but I squashed down my uncertainty and tried to be brave.


	10. A New Plan for the Survivors of a Lost W

**A New Plan for the Survivors of a Lost World**

(Alexei POV)

My leg was killing me. God, I wish Dr Botkin was here. Well, actually, if I got to have a wish, that wouldn't be it. What about getting just one more day, where we knew what was to come? If only we had of had a chance to kiss everyone goodbye, to embrace one last time. If only this was all just a dream. If only we were dreaming. This could all be a nightmare we could wake up from, and there was no war, no revolution, no Reds, nothing but our beautiful quiet life. If only, if only. Anastasia hurried back into the room, staring down determinedly at her feet, as she came and sat down next to Olga on the bed.

"They're coming," she said shortly. Olga raised an eyebrow, but did not comment. Sure enough, after a few minutes, Tatiana and Maria appeared in the doorway.

"What's going on?" Tatiana asked softly, "Is everything okay with Luda?"

"Yes, yes, of course," Alex rose to his feet, with a sigh, "well, for now of course."

"For now?" Olga echoed, "Whatever do you mean 'for now'? When won't it be?"

"We can't stay here forever," Alec said, "it's too dangerous, for me, for you, for Luda, for the whole village."

"Well, we can hardly go back to _our_ home, can we?" Anastasia rolled her eyes. Olga poked her in the back and gave her a disapproving look. We couldn't afford to talk like that to Alec.

"You don't have a home anymore, _comrade_," Alec smirked in spite of himself. We all winced in unison. We had been stripped of everything, even our titles. For over three hundred years, our family had been devoted to serving Russia. What were we to do now? And what about me? What about being Tsar of the greatest nation in the world? The whole world that we had once had and our whole future were just ... gone.

"Well, what will we do? We have nowhere to go!" Olga exclaimed, "We have nothing left, no one to turn to! If we could have gone to live with our relatives overseas, we would have months ago, but none would take us! All that there is left for is in this room."

"We have to leave Russia," Alec said matter-of-factly, "we will have to go abroad and pray that we are not followed."

"Russia is our home!" I exclaimed, horrified. We couldn't leave, just because things we bad now. We had to stay and wait for things to get better. It would have to get better; everything would have to turn out alright in the end. We just had to wait a little while longer, and everything would be alright. I had no idea how, but it had to be. It just had to be!

"Russia certainly isn't your home anymore," Alec reminded me, "Lord, Russia is a republic now. You were left for dead in a godforsaken basement!"

"Russia is our home," I repeated. Alec sighed, shaking his head. He didn't understand. How could he understand? Russia had never been _his_. He may have been a Russia, but Russia never belonged to him.

"I don't think any of you have any idea of the scale of this situation. You are going to be murdered if you stay here; there is no doubt about that. We must go. We must leave Russia, or we will certainly die here," Alec said softly.

"Dr Botkin," Tatiana said suddenly. We all looked over to her, surprised.

"Pardon?" Alec raised an eyebrow.

"Dr Botkin and Anna. You told them to come here," Anastasia reminded him, her voice rising, "You told them to come to this house, you told them-"

"I know what I told them!" Alec snapped. There was a moment of stunned silence, as we all paused and stared at him. He sighed, rubbing his temples tiredly.

"You must understand what a difficult

"I'm not going without Dr Botkin and Anna," Tatiana declared firmly, "I would rather die than betray our faithful companions' loyalty."

"They left their homes and families to stay by our sides. We could never live with ourselves if we did not wait for them," Olga murmured.

"Fine. We will wait for them. But then, we must go," Alec relented finally. We all silently watched him walk from the room. It couldn't be real. It had to be just a nightmare.


	11. Visitors

**Visitors**

(Olga POV)

When night came, we were no better, no worse than the morning. I lay curled up in a ball on my side; eyes squeezed shut tightly, trying to not think. But of course, it is only when you do not want to think, that your mind is filled with maddening thoughts, and you never rest. Lord, why is it that when Monsieur Gilliard questions French vocabulary, my mind is totally blank, but at nights when I want to do nothing more than sleep, my mind is filled with everything in the world. Of course, not French verbs. Never French verbs.

We were trapped. There was no way of escaping this place, no where to go. Stuck here, in this godforsaken world. And with Alec! I'd rather be dead than here with Alec, practically a stranger who we knew had once plotted to murder us. Lord, I'd rather be dead than be a 'comrade'. What had happened to the world? What had happened to Maria? It had been so odd, to see her and Tatiana whispering together, and then standing together teary-eyed to talk to Alec. And then turn so suddenly on him, demanding we wait. In the light of day, it seemed perfectly rational to wait for our loyal friends. In the dead of the night, whispering came from the back of my mind, questioning our choice. What if they never came? What if they were dead? The Reds had been less than a half mile behind them. How could they have escaped? How could they be free?

I rolled over to look at Tatiana, lying facing the wall with her arms crossed tightly over her chest as if to hold her heart in.

"Are you awake?"

She almost flinched at the whisper, my breath warm on her neck. What had I become? What had we become? Tatiana rolled onto her back and turned her head to look at me.

"Did Maria bother you much today, Tatya?" I asked softly, tensely.

"No," she murmured, "we had a good little chat, if anything we ever do after this could be good. Everything is tainted by the Reds."

"What did you talk about? I asked.

She hesitated, "Not much."

"It must have been something. She was in a state when she came back," I persisted, "you both were."

"I promised I wouldn't tell," Tatiana replied gently, almost apologetically.

"We're sisters," I reminded her, in a small pained voice.

"I promised," she repeated. We didn't keep secrets. Well, Tatiana and I at least. From the little pair, Alexei, Mama, Papa, all the time. But not each other. We were tainted by the Reds, inside out. Tatiana exhaled loudly, smoothing the blanket over her stomach. Alec and Luda were moving downstairs. I could hear them, moving back and forth, scraping chairs about, hissing at each other. There was a clattering up the stairs, and the door burst open. Tatiana and I sat up suddenly, only to find it was only Alec in the doorway, wild-eyed and breathless.

"Alec!" I exclaimed, "Lord, Alec, you can't come into a woman's room when she's not dressed!"

Alec had the grace to flush and bow his head shamefully, but did not leave.

"You have to come downstairs!" he murmured to his feet, peering up at us pleadingly.

"No! Get out!" Tatiana pulled the blankets up to her, horrified, "what kind of a monster are you? Get out!"

"He's _here_! Downstairs! He's here!" Alec protested, "The man-"

"I don't care who's here, get out!" I snapped.

"The servant. He's here," Alec said crossly, "You have to come down! All of you!"

"Doctor Botkin?" Tatiana gripped the blanket tighter.

"Yes. Him, I suppose," Alec threw his hands up agitatedly. We paused and looked at each other.

"Alright. We'll be right down," I agreed.


End file.
